What Happens If Both Parents Die at the Same Time?

If both parents die without a will naming guardians, a court will decide who raises your children. That decision might not match what you would have wanted.

We know this is hard to think about. But as a parent, it's your responsibility to make sure your children are protected even in the worst-case scenario. The good news? A simple will solves this completely.

What Actually Happens Without a Plan

Who Gets the Children?

If both parents die without naming guardians:

1. Social services become temporarily responsible
2. Family members can apply to the court for guardianship
3. The court decides based on "the child's best interests"
4. This process takes months and causes huge stress

The court will typically look to close family — grandparents, aunts, uncles — but there's no guarantee. If multiple family members apply, there can be disputes. And the court may make a different choice than you would have.

What Happens to Your Money and Property?

Under intestacy rules (no will):

• Everything passes to your children equally
• But children can't inherit directly until 18
• The court appoints trustees to manage the money
• At 18, children get full access — ready or not

This means an 18-year-old could inherit hundreds of thousands of pounds with no safeguards.

How to Protect Your Children

Step 1: Appoint Guardians in Your Will

This is the most important thing you can do. Your will should name:

• Primary guardians: Your first choice to raise your children
• Backup guardians: In case your first choice can't or won't act

Both parents should name the same guardians. If you have different ideas, you need to agree — conflicting wills cause problems.

How to Choose Guardians

Consider:

• Values: Do they share your approach to parenting?
• Relationship: Do they know and love your children?
• Practicality: Can they actually take on more children?
• Age and health: Will they be able to cope long-term?
• Location: Would children need to change schools?
• Willingness: Have you asked them?

Important: Always ask potential guardians before naming them. Being named unexpectedly is unfair and they may decline.

Step 2: Set Up a Trust for Their Inheritance

Don't let your children inherit everything at 18. A trust in your will can:

• Control when they receive money (21, 25, 30, or in stages)
• Allow trustees to release funds for education, housing, emergencies
• Protect money from poor decisions or outside influence
• Keep assets in the family if a child divorces

Trust Distribution Options

Option	How It Works
All at age 25	Children receive full inheritance at 25
Staged distribution	1/3 at 21, 1/3 at 25, 1/3 at 30
Discretionary	Trustees decide based on each child's needs
Hybrid	Some fixed, some at trustee's discretion

Step 3: Consider Who Should Be Trustees

Trustees manage the money. This can be:

• The same people as guardians (simpler but combines roles)
• Different people (separates childcare from money management)
• Professional trustees (for large estates or complex situations)

Often, separating guardians and trustees provides checks and balances — the people raising your children aren't also controlling all the money.

Step 4: Get Life Insurance

Your children's guardians will need money to raise them. Life insurance provides:

• Immediate funds for childcare costs
• Money for housing (your guardians' home may not be big enough)
• Education funding
• General living expenses

How much? Consider: cost of raising a child to 18 × number of children + education costs + housing adjustment. This is often £200,000-500,000 or more.

Write it in trust so it pays directly to your chosen trustees without delay.

Step 5: Write a Letter of Wishes

A letter alongside your will can explain:

• Your hopes for your children's upbringing
• Educational preferences
• Religious or cultural wishes
• Relationships you want maintained (grandparents, etc.)
• Anything else important to you

This isn't legally binding but guides guardians and trustees on your intentions.

The Difficult Questions

"What If My Parents Are Too Old?"

Grandparents are often the emotional first choice but may not be practical:

• Will they have the energy for young children?
• Will they still be able in 10 years?
• Is their health suitable?

Consider younger family members or close friends as primary guardians, with grandparents having a supporting role.

"What If We Can't Agree?"

If you and your partner disagree on guardians:

• Discuss WHY each choice matters to you
• Consider what's best for the children, not what pleases family
• Think about different scenarios (young children vs teenagers)
• You must reach agreement — conflicting choices create problems

"What About the Other Parent After Divorce?"

If you're divorced and die, your ex-partner (as the surviving parent) typically has parental responsibility. Your will can't override this.

However, if you have concerns:

• Name guardians in case your ex-partner can't or shouldn't care for them
• Consider protections for the children's inheritance
• Use trusts to prevent your ex accessing the children's money

What If You Die "Simultaneously"?

If you die in the same accident, who died "first" affects inheritance. The law presumes the older person died first.

Your will can include a "survivorship clause" requiring someone to survive you by a certain period (often 28 days) to inherit. This prevents complicated double-probate if you die close together.

Practical Steps Right Now

1. Discuss with your partner — agree on guardians
2. Talk to potential guardians — make sure they're willing
3. Make matching wills — naming guardians and setting up trusts
4. Get life insurance — written in trust
5. Write a letter of wishes — guide your guardians
6. Tell your family — so everyone knows the plan

The Old Way vs Our Way

The Old Way	Our Way
Avoid thinking about it	Face it, plan for it, then move on
Assume family will sort it out	Make your wishes legally binding
Children inherit everything at 18	Protected trust until they're ready
Leave guardians guessing	Clear instructions in letter of wishes